Act or React...

Was it yesterday? Or the day before? I guess it doesn't really matter. What does is my mind, was the reaction to a video. It, the video, showed a man holding a door for a woman carrying grocery bags. She doesn't acknowledge his act of courtesy. So, what does he do? He, the gentleman that he is, grabs her by the arm, pulls her back thru the door, shuts the door and walks away smiling. The thing so confusing to me was how many seemed to cheer the man on. Don't get me wrong. Gratitude is important. But if a person does something simply to be recognized and praised, then that is all he will gain from the act. 

I'd wager most people don't see this life as the end of their existence. And I'm probably going to get some flak on that. If that offends you, stop reading. I believe life is eternal. Life doesn't end here. Eternal - and yes, even this part of life seems that way at times. Seconds can last so long, though days pass so quickly. But it's in the seconds, in the momentary exchanges, that life takes place. So to make this personal, that's my life and yours. And my life matters. It matters in the sense that what I do with it in those momentary exchanges is deterministic. Not as a theory might suggest, that acts of the will, occurrences in nature, or social or psychological phenomena are causally predetermined by something external to them or myself. Rather, what I do will determine the outcome of my life in an eternal sense. I, what I do, or my life, may not have an immediate effect in the world as a whole, however, it will affect me and those with whom I interact directly and, much more importantly, upon the eternal direction of my life. 

So, if someone doesn't express gratitude. That's on them. Your reaction is on you. I'm still learning. Hope you are too.

If not me then who...

 It is important to forgive oneself. How to accomplish that can become a hill that's difficult to get over. Hard? Yes, but not impossible. Here are suggestions that can make it easier. 

1. Practice self-acceptance. We can't ignore our faults or stop trying to improve, but we must learn to value ourselves and recognize that, although we’re imperfect, we're good people, faults and all. We must focus more on the good in ourselves than the things that upset us.

2. Be realistic in our own expectations. All are, as previously mentioned, imperfect and that includes me and you. We must be open to see our imperfections and not be too hard on ourselves because of them. See them as stepping stones not as stumbling blocks. And although it's been said that in the hands of a craftsman, a pile of stones can become a cathedral, cathedrals can be cold and drafty. I'd rather live in a warm, well built cottage. It's important to focus on our possibilities and accept them and not on what we can’t do.

3. Forgive and forget. We learn by our experiences, including our mistakes. We shouldn't let the fear of making a mistake stop us from attempting things. Remember that all experiences make us who we are. Regret can assist in making future choices, however, we must forget any resentment or negativity that often accompanies poor choices and press forward, embracing our choices for improvement. 

4. Let go of things we can't control. For example, we have no control over what other people do and say to us, but we can control how we our react. We must follow our own self assuring purposes and stop living our lives to simply please those around us. Don't accept the "gifts" of harsh criticism. Remember a gift doesn't become a gift until it is accepted. We only have a limited space to store things, we shouldn't allow that space to become filled with material we can't use.

5. We can find answers, but we must accept that most of them don't find their origin in ourselves. That is a perspective too often overlooked. We must be able to view ourselves objectively. And in all our striving, we must accept that help most often comes from a source external to ourselves. For me one of the best ways to take a step back and adjust perspective is by reading the scriptures. They can help gain a better understanding of the most important things in life and to find the strength to forgive myself and begin moving forward.

6. Finally, remember that success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal. Accepting and forgiving oneself is a journey, not a destination. We will continually make mistakes, but they are only stations along the way. Don't get off the train to take up residency.

...Is It Really?

FIRST OF ALL LET ME SAY THAT I AM A PROPONENT OF OUTLAWING TEXTING DRIVERS. However, I am not in favor of using the might-makes-right method of advocacy. The use of unrelated materials to promote a point of view. After some research, I feel that a photo similar to the one below was used erroneously to emphasize the case against texting and driving.

The accident was reported in the July 29, 2005, edition of the "The Record", New Jersey’s second-largest daily newspaper. Thus, the accident occurred on Thursday, July 28, 2005 and was reported as follows:

"Friday, July 29, 2005
FRANKLIN LAKES – A Westchester County man died Thursday afternoon in a crash on Route 287.

"Joseph Gianelli, 58 of Irvington, N.Y., was pronounced dead at the scene after his Chevrolet Corvette struck the rear of a tractor-trailer at about 1 p.m., near milepost 65, state police said.

"The truck, operated by Clouis Oquinn Jr., 52, of Virginia, was parked on a northbound shoulder when the Corvette plowed into it. Oquinn was not injured, officials said.

"The crash was under investigation Thursday evening."

There is no mention of texting in the news report, and texting while driving wasn’t a common problem in 2005, especially for older individuals. Hence, it would appear that the texting story being posted and reposted on Facebook is manufactured using an unrelated graphic photo to punch up the story. The news report is damaging to the assertion of the captions for the story/picture claiming the accident was the result of texting while driving. Further evidence of the fallacious use of the photo is the claim the man’s head was found in the back seat of the Corvette. Corvettes, however, do not have a back seat.

So I would say, be honest with your posts, However, I must still agree - DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE.