It is important to forgive oneself. How to accomplish that
can become a hill that's difficult to get over. Hard? Yes, but not impossible. Here
are suggestions that can make it easier.
1. Practice self-acceptance. We can't ignore our faults or
stop trying to improve, but we must learn to value ourselves and recognize
that, although we’re imperfect, we're good people, faults and all. We must focus
more on the good in ourselves than the things that upset us.
2. Be realistic in our own expectations. All are, as previously
mentioned, imperfect and that includes me and you. We must be open to see our
imperfections and not be too hard on ourselves because of them. See them as
stepping stones not as stumbling blocks. And although it's been said that in
the hands of a craftsman, a pile of stones can become a cathedral, cathedrals can
be cold and drafty. I'd rather live in a warm, well built cottage. It's
important to focus on our possibilities and accept them and not on what we can’t
do.
3. Forgive and forget. We learn by our experiences,
including our mistakes. We shouldn't let the fear of making a mistake stop us from
attempting things. Remember that all experiences make us who we are. Regret can assist
in making future choices, however, we must forget any resentment or negativity
that often accompanies poor choices and press forward, embracing our choices
for improvement.
4. Let go of things we can't control. For example, we have
no control over what other people do and say to us, but we can control how we our
react. We must follow our own self assuring purposes and stop living our lives
to simply please those around us. Don't accept the "gifts" of harsh criticism.
Remember a gift doesn't become a gift until it is accepted. We only have a
limited space to store things, we shouldn't allow that space to become filled
with material we can't use.
5. We can find answers, but we must accept that most of them
don't find their origin in ourselves. That is a perspective too often
overlooked. We must be able to view ourselves objectively. And in all our
striving, we must accept that help most often comes from a source external to
ourselves. For me one of the best ways to take a step back and adjust
perspective is by reading the scriptures. They can help gain a better
understanding of the most important things in life and to find the strength to
forgive myself and begin moving forward.
6. Finally, remember that success is the progressive
realization of a worthy goal. Accepting and forgiving oneself is a journey, not
a destination. We will continually make mistakes, but they are only stations
along the way. Don't get off the train to take up residency.
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